This is a community created to discuss the highly contentious and sometimes deeply personal issue of sexuality issues within feminism. Because emotions can run high during these discussions, this community is strictly moderated to avoid nastiness. Moderators can and will warn and ban people as they see fit – this is not a democracy. Please email us if you have any questions, comments, or concerns.
Feminism: This is not a "beginners" feminist community, nor is this a place to debate whether or not feminism is valid. We use the same definitions of racism and sexism as the feminist community - that is, racism = power plus prejudice. Talk of "reverse racism" or "reverse sexism" is not appropriate here. If you're confused about these issues, please consult feminism_101.
Safe space and respect: This is not a safe space per se - it is, to some degree, a debate forum. Keep that in mind - if you post something, people are going to disagree with you. So if it's a subject that's particularly sensitive for you, you may want to keep this in mind.
That said, personal attacks are not tolerated, especially if you're attacking someone based on their lifestyle or sexual preferences. If you're going to disagree strongly with someone's ideas, that's fine, but please do not attack them as a person. Keep in mind that a little respect will go a long way towards making this a productive discussion space.
Privilege and isms: It should be obvious, but "isms" as in racism, sexism, classism, ablism, homophobia, transphobia and the like are NOT acceptable here. Nor is survivor-blaming. While issues such as kink, motherhood, sex work, religion, fat, and the like can be discussed and questioned, please do so with the utmost care and respect. Although it can be helpful to sometimes compare "isms" as metaphors to make a point, know that this is extremely shaky ground to be on and nine times out of ten will be inappropriate.
Sex-workers: Some of the members here are currently or were formerly sex-workers. The voices of sex-workers have been silenced for too long by feminists on both sides of this issue. You can disagree with sex-work, but do not disrespect or attempt to speak for sex-workers in any way. They have voices and can speak for themselves!
Language: “Naughty” language is allowed without a cut. Reclamation of questionable language, such as slurs, is okay if you are a member of the group the slur is meant against. If you are not a member of said group, even if your "best friends are gay," or whatever, is not.
Trigger warnings: If your post could potentially be triggering to survivors of rape or sexual abuse, eating disordered people, or any other group, please put the offending material behind a cut and specify how the material might be triggering.
Labels: The issue of labels in terms of feminist sexuality discussion is a tricky one, but in short – do not label anyone else without their permission/self-identification with said label, and do not use labels as passive-aggressive insults.
Waves: Wave terminology tends to be woefully inadequate when discussing feminist sexuality issues. Waves were primarily a generational thing to begin with, although many people have associated certain viewpoints on sexuality with the waves. This is counter-productive. Statements like, "All second-wavers are anti-porn!" or, "All third-wavers just want to appear sexy and hip!" are completely unhelpful. We'd advise you to leave waves out of the discussion as a catch-all for a particular sexual ideology.
Work-safe: It goes without saying that a community about sex will not be work-safe for everyone, depending on the rules regarding internet usage at your workplace or school. We ask that all icons used be work safe in that they have no photographic nudity or sex, and if you want to post images that may not be work-safe, please do so with a warning and a cut. If an outside link is not work-safe, please state so.
And here's the boring stuff: no spam, no quizzes, if it's too long, use a cut, do not delete comments except to correct a typo, and only promote communities that are relevant to the topic of feminism and sex.